"Only a Gerbil"

My Son in the forces, thought to get a pet, a Cat or Dog would be too big for his small place, so he had thought to perhaps a small caged animal.

In the Pet shop, there were three Gerbils two black one brown, the shop keeper told him, one on its own would get lonely, he should buy two?

My Son replied that would leave one on its own in the shop, hence you guessed it, he bought the three.

As his Parents we laughed and joked about this saying what a big softy at heart he really was. Later sharing forces accommodation, the other lads were not that keen about the noise the Gerbils made through the night. He was also due to be stationed again although temporarily, over seas, and more duty to follow.

He arrived home with the Gerbils, and we adopted them, I went straight to buy a larger cage with three floors, they were the cutest little fellows you had seen. And all being male, so no baby gerbils were due, I named them all Harry - one two and three, the smallest of them, well he was the friendliest, he even spoke to you in his own cute little way, seemed to understand what you were saying. Friends were amazed at their cute antics and seeming as if to do as if trained.

Eventually though, daily I grew to hate the fact simply that they were caged in, it was cruel such beautiful small creatures should be free and wild, these lads only ever knew a cage since birth had never even seen their Natural habitat. Two times Brown Harry got something in his eye, I carefully bathed it until he could again open it again. Small black Harry got a spot on his tail genuinely I grew to Love these cute little fellows, they were so small and totally harmless, other than chewing every thing they could, but that′s after all their Nature.

Often we would let them out with supervision, as the year passed, I thought to let them out unsupervised in the spare room, for a good run. The first time I did they were fine, I left them an hour, second time, it was two or three hours after placing them back in the cage, my Wife said the brown one was bleeding. Getting him out and bathing him he seemed fine, it was the small black on that was hurt, for some reason they had been fighting

Strange indeed, as this had never happened before. He was quite badly hurt, all bitten, and some were deep, we as Humans would have been Hospitalised with the severity of such wounds. I admired his courage as over the next few days he bounced back to his normal active little self. I made a set of tubes run between their first home a plastic tank, and the newer cage this way they could have a good run and go between the two places, while we kept an eye on them

They were fascinated, by my tapping at the keyboard on the computer as I typed, liked to often watch Television, ever constantly getting little treats from us. But then once again, small Harry became as if with drawn. He was down and not him self for nearly two days before I finally started to really worry, It was late night - early morning, as I got him out the cage and he lay in my hand as if exhausted. He did not even try to run up my arm onto the chair arm as he used too! Hence I knew some thing was wrong.

Holding him gently for a while, stroking his head I could sense he was dying. His breathing was hard finding some of his favourite food and some fresh cress. I then sat him on the chair arm and he ate them, but slowly, it seemed painful for him and he took his time wrapping him inside my shirt, sticking his little head out, stroking him, I was praying to God to help this little lad. God he′s so cute and innocent, please, help him, please! I felt, in fact heard God clearly say to me, You can put him out of this suffering!

I was sobbing by now, and am not afraid to admit this. If you think me a soft touch, just try me six foot four and tough indeed. I was saying back to God, I can not do this, its not my life to take. Getting a large towel then warming it before the fire I made a little nest in a large bucket, and gently placed Harry in there. He was drifting in and out of reality. I was going to keep him by my bedside as by now it was really late indeed. Slipping back briefly into reality he realised he was some where strange, panicked and managed one jump out of the nest in the warm well of the towel bed I had made him. He was to open to the cold while not tucked in.

So picking him back up to calm and assure him he rolled into my hand, this time lying on his back. Then I noticed very bad wounds to his stomach. They had again unknown to us, indeed been fighting again. It must have been at least two days back, he had one terrible wound there which had probably punctured his stomach. I was even more upset now finding this further injury.

Coming round once again, he rolled over and leapt right out of my hands onto the hard cold Kitchen floor being so weak and in pain, he could not land properly, I tried to grab him on his way down, but he landed very badly on his side. I scooped him up quickly but he was convulsing as if in a fit and again he flew out of my hands, once more landing badly, scooping him up yet again I screamed with Anger at God. As I held him trying to still and calm him Harry violently convulsed and died there in my hand.

To express anger at God would be an under estimate, I was shouting through bitter anguish and tears that it had all happened so horribly and cruelly. As I sat cradling young Harry to my cheek sobbing through the silence and my anguish, I felt a calm, heard God clearly say, you could not end his pain his suffering was bad, it was kinder this way, I sensed and knew, even felt this was indeed true. I got an amazing vision right there, clearly I glimpsed our Harry that cute young Gerbil held in God′s Loving hand, He′s with me now and fine!

I am still hurting badly, indeed deeply the next day it was a truly terrible horrid experience indeed. What lesson is there to learn from this. Some times you have to be cruel to be kind I could not take that Life, it was not mine to take. Turns out it was the other black one fighting and now I have been forced to separate them, I feel terrible about this from start to finish!

Just remember God knows the number of hairs on a head, the actual number of feathers on a Sparrow even, the Moral of this story, well we are guilty of ignorance guilty of not showing proper care and attention. Simply due to lack of no knowledge or understanding any thing about the way these creatures live.

Its not just a matter of feeding and cleaning nor of exercise and daily freedom, but small caged creatures, need as much attention as you would indeed give to your very self! They are a God given independent individual Life. Meanwhile, as I have always said, if Your Kids have caged small animals as pets, or want small caged as a pet, make them read this first and remember that even a convicted Prisoner, gets food water a bed and a level of respect. More so understanding, and a degree of compassion. One hours freedom in fresh air to walk about every day. Even if in an exercise yard and supervised!

I know Life goes on, and in time the hurt will pass. I am accustomed to death coming from a large Family, even as a child seen many relatives come and go too. But such a beautiful small innocent creature, one that should never ever have been caged from the very beginning of its life. I know also not to say, that I myself did not buy them this is no excuse, I did have the responsibility since looking after them, also the conscience too!

I would love for nothing better than young Harry himself to greet me when I finally enter the light of God myself.

Was it just a Gerbil? Or is it a God given life. Think on this! Typed through Tears of both Love and sadness, sincerely

Poet Christopher R Slater ®©2000
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